"Forgiveness" by Mark LaCour

The Bottom Line by Mark LaCour

"And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors . . . For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." (Matt. 6:12, 14-15).

A person who can't forgive has never been forgiven. Hold a grudge and you hold a one way ticket to hell (Matt. 18:35). Take your own revenge and you take -- or steal from God (Rom. 12:19). As one person put it, "Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping to kill someone else."

But saying "You're forgiven" with clenched teeth and white knuckles isn't any better. The gold standard of forgiveness is forgiving like God -- which means it is impossible for us to produce on our own. True forgiveness isn't forgetting wrongdoing, which is passive; neither is it excusing wrongdoing, which is denial. It doesn't demand guarantees of future performance.

Forgiveness deals with someone's debt, which means you can either take payments from the offender -- giving a cold shoulder, remind them of their offense on a constant basis, file a lawsuit, etcetera; or you can either make payments -- absorb the liability yourself. Forgiveness, or "making payments," means you promise not to think, say, or act according to the past offense. This is exactly what God does with us when He forgives -- He doesn¢t remember our sins (Isa. 43:25); hold them over our heads when we pray, or distance Himself in daily fellowship because of the past.

Have you ever said, "I'll forgive him but the relationship will never be the same." How would you like it if God forgave you this way? Any forgiveness that doesn¢t produce true reconciliation isn¢t forgiveness.

Depending on the size of the offense God may give you the grace to make "one easy payment" and simply overlook the transgression (Prov. 19:11). Other times the payments may be in "installments" over years to fulfill as you rely daily on God¢s grace to help you keep your promise when the wound has gone deep.

But while forgiveness is unmerited -- you can¢t earn someone else¢s commitment to absorb your liability, it doesn't mean that it's unconditional. Forgiveness is conditioned upon repentance -- "If your brother repents, forgive him." (Lk. 17:3). The unpardonable sin is an unrepentant sin -- the only sin the Church doesn't forgive (Matt. 18:15-18; Jn. 20:23).

Sin creates a debt -- a debt that offenders sometimes owe us as well as God. And if we expect God's forgiveness to be quick, complete, and continual with us, we must return the same in kind to our offenders. Leave the "payment-taking" to the Chuck Norris's of the world. After all, you're rich like your heavenly Father -- able to pay for someone else's liability with the same "currency" He used to get you out of debt.